Fight fire with fire.

Tonight something happened to me during a comedy show that hasn’t before.  As most of you know, I’ve been around a while.  I’ve seen lots of things.  I’ve been many places.  Some I wish I hadn’t.  But tonight, in Johnson City, TN, something new occurred.

I was on stage about 5 minutes into my set when down the hall at the Holiday Inn, the Happy Valley High School (not making that up, see photo) 30th class reunion got to the portion of their program where the band started playing.  Their banquet room was barely 50 feet from us, and there were glass doors on our restaurant-turned-club.  Their doors were open.  The bass beats came into the room and I could feel them on the stage.  And the band wasn’t good.  I suspect it was members of the class of 1982 who always dreamed of this moment.

What to do?!?  I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking.  The easiest solution of all.  Nicely ask the people to turn their music down and close their doors.  But what happened instead?  Any guesses?

A waitress came over and turned my microphone volume up.

Take a moment and let that sink in.  Fight fire with fire!  Let’s have the comic’s voice be louder than the music!  Genius!

Only it wasn’t genius.  It was annoying.  And too loud.  And it didn’t work.  And I feel bad for the 17 people who were at the show.

You read that right.  Seventeen.  Like the magazine.

My conservative guess of the number of people at the reunion?  I don’t have to guess.  I went and counted after my set.  (See picture).  31.  So naturally it makes sense that since they had almost twice as many, we shouldn’t inconvenience them.

Oh, and let’s not get started on the second show.  Yes, there was a second show.  The reunion was over (or just very lame, either way it was quiet by then.)  But the drunk guy at the bar, he was a treat. That story may one day find its way here.

Until then, remember the moral:  Never do comedy in Johnson City.